A RELATIONAL APPROACH
Relational psychotherapy, in theoretical terms, is an approach to psychotherapy that brings together branches of various schools of thought: psychodynamic, self psychology, intersubjective, object relations, humanistic and feminist. But, in practice, what does that really mean?
A relational approach to therapy very much addresses the need to self-reflect, sort through complex life circumstances and find ways to move forward at times of loss, transition and 'stuckness'. It acknowledges the importance of gaining validation, strength and courage in the therapeutic process - and out in the world.
As a relational psychotherapist, I will pay close attention to your experience of relationships with other people and the one between us, as it develops. Much of our discussion will focus on your most significant relationships (intimate partners, family, friends, professional) and also sometimes what might be emerging between us, as client and therapist. I will encourage you to reflect on and actively inquire of yourself what you feel are the relational patterns you experience in your life. I like to know how you grew up in your family, who was around you, what happened around you and how you learned - perhaps from a very early age - to be in relationship with (or in disconnection from) others.
Our attention will continually be drawn to your "organizing principles" - the ways in which you organize your experiences, the meanings that you give to things that happen in relationships and the fundamental belief system that you have about yourself and how things transpire between you and others. Together, we will look at how your current and past relationships make imprints on how you feel about yourself and your life.
In working relationally, I ensure that you will be supported in a balanced way that values your existing resources, boundaries and autonomy. I will pay close attention to your specific needs for feedback and guidance from me and strive to offer you helpful, objective insight, when appropriate - through the relationship we build together. As part of that, I attune to your need for challenge, to help you see beyond what's visible to you at present and to help you find new ways of experiencing yourself and your life.
In therapy with me, you can expect a process of exploring what changes are possible - particularly in the relational part of your life - that may lead to personal transformation. In building a relational narrative for yourself, questions that we may explore together are along the lines of:
*How am I affected today by the way I experienced my family relationships as a child?
*What needs am I trying to have met in my adult relationships that are actually older, unmet needs from childhood?
*Why does a familiar pattern keep appearing in my adult relationships?
*What feedback do I get from people who I am in relationships with?
*What common assumptions do I make in my relationships that seem to cause problems for me?
*Do I feel really connected in my relationships, or do I keep myself out of connection? Why do I do that?
*If I want to really open myself up to connection, what kind of vulnerability would I expose myself to?
In Relational psychotherapy, we connect in mutual engagement and we talk about all that you want to talk about. We take stock of the full range of your life. You have a space in which to say everything.