ABOUT RELATIONAL PSYCHOTHERAPY

Psychotherapy is unlike any other kind of relationship in the client’s life, as the experience can sometimes feel “one-sided” for them. They know little about the therapist’s life, while the therapist knows very intimate details of theirs. Whatever feelings this gives rise to, a relational psychotherapist will use their client’s experiences of being in therapy as a compass to understanding the client's larger relational world.

Relational psychotherapy draws on different theoretical foundations (including self psychology, intersubjectivity, feminist, psychodynamic and relational psychoanalysis) in weaving together an approach which is client-centred, interpersonal and very accessible - including for those new to therapy. The main objective of relational work is to identify what core beliefs the client carries about what it feels like to be in relationship with others. The work will draw on historic memories and experiences of past relationships but the focus will remain on how these experiences have a relevant impact on current relationships.

Through examining the experience of being in relationship with others, the client will learn more about their own self and what they bring to their relationships. Often, relational therapeutic work focuses specifically on how their relationships make the client feel about themselves, as well as how they believe they are experienced by others. This path to increased self-awareness can have difficult and unsettling moments but, ultimately, has great potential to be very enriching.

This increased level of awareness often allows for making clear connections between past relationships and current ones – how being in relationship to significant others in the earlier phases of life often governs current relationships. A common example of this might be examining how difficulties in childhood or adolescent relationships with primary caregivers (i.e. through neglect, emotional disconnectedness, abuse, etc.) are now repeating in a client’s challenging relationship with his or her partner – or child, friend, sibling, colleague.

The power of relational psychotherapy allows the client to appreciate the significance of being in relationship to others and experiencing self as always being in relationship to something. “No man is an island” is an expression which hits the mark of relational psychotherapy – apart from being too gender-specific, that is! No person exists without being in relationship to – and having an impact on – the world.

Additionally, relational psychotherapy focuses on the autonomy and choices available to a client. Taking responsibility for one’s freedom to choose and for having an impact on others, forms the cornerstone of relational work. Relational psychotherapy recognizes that we are all agents of choice and of responsibility. It is up to each of us to find the path which can lead to the highest quality of life we can imagine for ourselves.