FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q. How can I get started? What will the first steps be?

A. You can contact me by telephone or by e-mail to arrange an initial consultation. After meeting, if it seems we are compatible for working together, we will then arrange further appointments to continue the therapy. Continuing with further meetings will be your choice to arrange at the consultation or after a period of reflection outside of the session.

Q. What kind of commitment do I need to make?

A. The nature of psychotherapy is that it is an ongoing, regular process, as opposed to a “drop-in” style of counselling. In the initial work together, we can structure it so that we contract a certain number of sessions (i.e. 12 sessions), however, I generally leave it open with my clients and do not ask for a commitment to a specific period of time.

The commitment I would ask of you, once we have established that we will work together, is that you respect the frame of our work by adhering to the frequency and times of the sessions, payment policies, cancellation policy, etc.

Q. How much will I be expected to reveal?

A. What material you bring to your sessions is entirely up to you. The more that you bring, the more potential there is for learning and growing. This is particularly true of clients who take risks to make themselves vulnerable in the material they choose to discuss. I actively encourage clients to describe to me, in as much detail as possible, what it feels like to be in their shoes. Small details can sometimes make an enormous difference in how things fit together in the bigger picture.

Q. What is your role as a therapist? What do you actually do?

A. My role in our relationship is to listen and respond to your experiences and your feelings, while actively working with you to discover what choices are available to you in your life. The focus of the work is on your experience of your internal world and your responses to being in the external world you find yourself in.

Whatever content you and I are working with, my role is to hold the “frame” of the work we are doing. In other words, I attend to many different aspects of our time together, including:

• the emotions, thoughts, body language and energy of you, the client
• the focus of the session
• the linkages between different experiences (or relationships, patterns, etc.) in your life and in your ongoing narrative
• the complexity of different (sometimes contradictory) questions being asked, ideas being generated, possibilities being considered
• how the relationship between you and I is developing; how our shared space feels
• my own responses to the work that is being carried out
• the physical space of the therapy room
• timekeeping

In these ways, I engage myself in an active and participatory way in the therapeutic process. Over time, as I get to know you more intimately and you come to know my way of being as your psychotherapist, a relationship will develop.

Q. How will I know if we are compatible?

A. I believe that “fit” is very important. If we decide that we are not compatible – for whatever reason – I can offer referrals to other psychotherapy associates I work with. I believe it is often beneficial to stay working together through difficult phases of the therapy, even if it feels easier to quit. Seeing this process through can often be the catalyst for experiencing a breakthrough which has the potential to provide deep insight. Difficulties in the therapy do not necessarily mean we are incompatible. Often, compatibility comes about from intuitive feelings of how we connect. In our sessions, we can actively question whether or not we are working well together.

Q. How will I know if the therapy is working?

A. Sometimes, an increase in fear, anxiety, etc. may be read as a signal that the therapy is going badly. This is often not the case. In fact, it should be expected that, at times, after a session, you will feel less stable and more vulnerable. Often, this is due to being exposed to new truths, emotions or challenges through being honest in your therapy. If you are learning new things about yourself and the relationships you are in, this is an indication that some good work is being done. If you are becoming aware of new possibilities and choices for yourself, you are on the right path. If you are getting in touch with feelings that were previously inaccessible to you or if you are finding the courage to express difficult feelings to yourself and to others, therapy is doing what it is supposed to do. Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to assist you in making the most positive choices you can make, given your personal circumstances. You will be the best judge of whether or not your therapy enhances your life, gives you a sense of well being or makes you feel stronger.

Q. Will painful feelings emerge that will interfere with my personal life/ professional life?

A. Everyone’s individual psychotherapy is different. Some clients bring a lot of pain with them, into their sessions. Others are not consciously aware of painful feelings, but may be put in touch with these as a result of doing therapeutic work. Chances are, there will be times when you feel pain (or anxiety, or fear) in your therapy, as it will touch on some of your most intimate details and significant life experiences. Often, what we remember of our experiences, are those that have wounded us, so it is natural that some of this pain is re-experienced in therapy. The result of not dealing with old, unhealed wounds is more painful in the long run. When things are left unchecked, they can have an enormous negative impact on your personal and professional life. If you are in psychotherapy, you have the opportunity to work through these feelings and get regular support, as you carry on through the many facets of your life.

Q. Is therapy all about dealing with pain and other negative aspects of life? What if I don't feel that my life is actually that bad - would I still benefit from therapy?

A. Therapy is a place for you to talk about every aspect of your life - including the positive things that need to be celebrated! The process of self awareness and personal growth stems from balancing all aspects of life and being aware of a wide range of feelings and experiences. Often, clients use their therapy to challenge themselves in very positive ways and to have the space to actively reflect on what is going right in their lives - not just what causes pain or needs "fixing".

Q. What if I want to end my therapy?

A. Ending your therapy is entirely your choice. If you do tell me that you would like to end, I will encourage you to come back to see me for one final session to tie up loose ends and to have a proper ending with me.

Q. What if I have ended my therapy and feel like I need to return for more?

A. If we have worked well together in our relationship, you would always be welcome to come back into therapy with me. Many clients find that psychotherapy suits their lives at different times and in different ways. The therapeutic process is not necessarily a linear journey, so coming back to me as a client after an ending or a “therapy vacation”, is entirely negotiable.